Tongue Tied

There are no pictures to accompany this post, just a few thoughts as I encountered Rachel's first medical procedure today. Yes, I did it. I had her fenulum released or a fenulumectomy (no I don't know if I spelled it right). What may you ask is that? It is getting your child's tongue tie cut. I have debated and stressed about this procedure for the entire 10 days that she has been alive. I finally decided on day 3 that it was absolutely necessary or we wouldn't make it much longer with breastfeeding. We were having such a hard time and thankfully I am not a first time Mom so I knew something was wrong. I asked and asked in the hospital about it and everyone said just wait and see what happens or as long as she is gaining weight it is fine. However, having great difficulty with feeding is NOT fine. I shall spare everyone the gross details, but I really almost gave it up. We were told our pediatrician could just take care of it, so imagine my surprise when on day 5 we went to the pediatrician and paid our $25 co-pay and he said, oh we don't do that here, you have to go to an ENT. An ENT? I am not kidding. And so I had to wait until today. I thought I was okay with it, but I got more and more nervous last night and this morning. Alas, we arrived to see this ENT and to proceed with the fenulum release. Of course, as I go to pull her out of the carseat for the scale it turns out she had pooped all the way up her back and front. So, with all that poop, a onesie and an outfit she came in at a whopping 7 lbs. I am certain it is closer to 6 lbs 11 oz. Maybe less by the amount of poop that came out. So there we stood ready for the moment and my Mommy protective nature kicked in. Was I really doing the best thing for her? Would she ever forgive me? Would I start crying as I watched in horror and of course due to the lack of sleep and overactive hormones? And most of all, would she really be okay? I hounded the doctor with several questions and then we went for it. It was painful watching them hold her little chin and head still and I couldn't look as they actually did it. Rachel didn't particularly like being held down, but as they held the gauze on the wound for blood the cute nurse rubbed her cheek and calmed her down. She never even let out a scream. I couldn't believe it. And I couldn't get to her fast enough. Amazingly they want you to feed her right there to soothe the wound (who knew breastmilk was so great) and it was a night and day difference. I couldn't believe how easy it was for her to latch on. I couldn't believe how well she ate. Fortunately it has lasted all of today and so I know I made the right choice. But man, it is hard to knowingly submit your child to pain...even though you know it is best for them and even though you know they won't remember it. What a stressful morning! I am so glad I did it, but it just reaffirms how much you love your child from the minute they are born. 10 days into this, I love her more than anyone could ever imagine. She better not ever doubt it! Of course, I apparently failed to explain it very well to my children as I was leaving. Jacob got it for the most part, but Anna came running to the door and wanted to see what her mouth looked like. I thought it was a pretty normal question until she asked me what Rachel would do with her tongue cut off. Oops. We had to explain it one more time. Gratefully, we are no longer tongue tied, although for a moment today as I waited for her to cry, I was tongue tied for just a moment. And that, my friends, is a true feat!