A funny story... seriously, hilarious.

This is a true story. Names have been withheld.

While at church a couple of days ago, I was holding a sweet little one in my arms. I thought I looked pretty cute in my skirt, my tank top and my shrug. I hadn't previously dared to wear shrugs due to the leftovers from childbirth. They just aren't pretty. Anyway, I digress. We were in the hallway to avoid being a distraction to the rest of the primary.

I was busy talking to our home teacher (for those non-Mormons, that is a male adult who is assigned to check up on your family each month to see if you need anything) in the hallway about something when suddenly the sweet little girl I held made the most awful smell one could imagine. She had been sick with the runs due to way too much watermelon and grapes. Not sick, just well, loose as my mother would say. Naturally I immediately put the stinky, squirming 14 month old on the ground to let her crawl down the hall away from me with that stank. I quickly finished my conversation with this gentleman so that I could chase after the baby. I did notice he seemed a bit distracted at the end of the conversation, but figured it was only natural due to the other people roaming the hallway. I said goodbye and walked around the corner to find my baby girl.

As I bent down to scoop her up, I realized that my cute little tank top was out of place. And by out of place, I mean that apparently when I put my cutie down she had grabbed the tank top and pulled it so far down that my entire bra was exposed. My ugly, old brown 4 pronger grandma bra was completely exposed in the front, except where the shrug covered my shoulders. I was mortified. I think I went white first and then red with the embarrassment. I fixed the wardrobe malfunction and as any good woman would do, pretended it had never happened. For about 10 seconds until this same gentleman came right around that corner so I stayed bent over pretending to check the baby's diaper to avoid looking him in the eye. And of course it was a false alarm. She just had gas! I was beyond embarrassment to the point where I could only laugh. I found my husband and he didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal, but then again, men don't wear bras, they spend their entire lives trying to get a glimpse of them or what's under them. Of course it wasn't a big deal to him. Someone else just saw how great "his goods" are.

So, lessons learned: Don't wear that tank top with only a shrug again. Always check yourself while putting down a baby. Wear cuter bras, especially to church. Try not to flash other men, especially at church. And lastly, when your good friend is looking at you funny because she can't quite figure out what is wrong with your outfit and the gentleman is looking at her pleading with his eyes for her to point out your disrobement, run. Run far, far away. And then laugh.

I hope that my acute embarrassment has in no way offended this nice gentleman and that I may show my face again at church next week. But really, it was worth sharing for everyone else to get to laugh with (and at) me, wasn't it? So, what is an embarrassing moment for you? And yes, this really happened to me 2 days ago. Ask Meredith Haag...she was my supposed friend at the time.