Well, to figure out what these 2 statements above have to do with each other, read on. But I must warn you that I get very angry and very sappy all at once. And I am NOT looking for pity, well, maybe just a tiny bit. Alas, here goes.....
I am very angry. I am angry at the healthcare system in America. I am a responsible person. I have always been a responsible person and Bart and I work very hard to take care of our family and will do whatever necessary to make sure we have health insurance. We have to. It isn't a choice for us. Bart has epilepsy which most of you know. But here is where I get mad (and I admit it takes awhile to get to that point and why, so stick with me).
I had the unfortunate experience of seeing my husband have another seizure today. It stinks. I hate it, it scares me to death. I was downstairs with Rachel and no one else was up yet (well, Jake was awake but didn't hear it). Bart was asleep and apparently started seizing. I took off and sweet Jacob realized something was happening and came to my aid. I had him take care of Rachel who I left at the bottom of the stairs while I attended to Bart. I didn't have to call 911 for the first time ever as it was over and he was breathing. However, he still was not coherent and wouldn't be for some time. He had blood and spit all over his face from biting his tongue to pieces, quite literally. I got him cleaned up and he had calmed down and was still out of it when Jacob and Anna and Nana wanted to see him (thank goodness for in-laws in town). Bart apparently doesn't remember any of this. I figured he would be out for a few hours, but surprisingly he was better within a short time and even went to work for awhile. Thank goodness he came to his senses and came home early. Actually, his tongue got so swollen he can hardly talk, which means you can't answer the phone so well. So that was what my day started off like. I refused to let this disease ruin me or my family. I went on with my day and actually had a pretty good day and was thrilled to pick Bart up early from work. And here comes where I start to get angry. I had to give this background so you know a tiny bit of how horrible this disease can be.
So, back to the health insurance. Our fantastic insurance which for the most part is truly great, has made us get his seizure medicine through the mail in system. Theoretically, it is a great system. But there are a few flaws. You can only reorder after a certain date...I know, I know, so you can't get too much medicine. But for a busy Mom of 3 young kids this can present a challenge. Earlier in the week I knew we were low on pills and ordered some, before the seizure ever happened and no, they are not linked to each other. I will readily admit that it was my fault for taking so long to order his medicine. I did have a back up plan though. I decided I would go over to the local pharmacy and pick up a week's worth of medicine to make sure we didn't have a lapse in pills. And after a seizure, his body is already obviously low or non-responsive, so you REALLY don't want to be without medicine. I was somewhat sensitive to this as I headed over after a long day and getting everyone to bed. Imagine me in my sweats after a work out with my hair all skeewampus, nasty sweats on, and a big sweatshirt to ward off the ice outside. Did I mention the acne that today's events caused? Sweet. You get the picture. So I head over there and find out that there was no local prescription. Turns out the other pharmacy has it, but no problem they can transfer it. Oops, again, my mistake. Well, several people later we get everyone on board to transfer it and I am thinking this is going so well....rookie mistake to think that. I find out that the prescription has expired. So now I have to call the doctor on call and get the new prescription. Irritating, but alright and at least I can ask him some questions before we see him in 10 days. I head back to the pharmacy 3 hours later (and looking somewhat worse for the wear) to find out that they did, indeed, get the prescription, but they don't have his medicine in stock and someone should have called me. I'll admit by now, I am starting to get frustrated. We call around and find out that 5 miles down the road there is another pharmacy and I can go get it there. But, oh, by the way, Mam, (yes Mam he said to me), you do know that your insurance isn't going to cover this. WHAT?!? And now I am to full blown anger. Why in the heck not? It seems you have used up your visits to the local pharmacy. Oh, my blood is boiling. Fine, I'll take it up with the next pharmacist. I arrive and thankfully this pharmacist is already calling my insurance to see if they will cover it. That was nice, so I calm down a bit.
Mr. Pharmacist "Well, they'll do it, but your co-pay is more than the pills for 10 days anyway."
Me: "Thank you, but I don't want 10 days, I only need 5 days to get us through. I'll just pay half then."
Mr. P:"It isn't that much of a savings. It only saves you $10."
Me:"Why not? I only want half, shouldn't I only pay half the price I was quoted?"
Mr. P" "Sorry, Mam (am I really that old), it doesn't work that way. Do you still want only half?"
Me: "Of course, why pay extra?"
I was so angry at the healthcare system right then. I mean, shouldn't I just be able to get what I need to take care of my husband? Something is seriously wrong in this country when it takes so many hours, phone calls, miles, and effort to get some potentially life saving medication for my husband. For a man who works so hard, pays his taxes, and pays thru the nose for his health insurance? And for what? Nothing. Pure fury at this system. Pure fury. And this is where I come to say, I will put my faith in Obama. He was not my pick for president, but as such, he gets my support. I am a good American after all. I do love the freedoms I enjoy. It isn't lost on me. But I challenge our new president to make the differences his promised, to get everyone on board and fix this. It shouldn't be this hard to exercise our rights in this country. But, I digress to the way the night played out....it continues here....
And as I am waiting for all of this to happen at the 2nd pharmacy this girl at the desk is asking me questions and I told her what happened this morning. She was appropriately nice at the beginning. When all was said and done she looked at me as I was struggling to remember my zip code to put into the machine to pay for it and she said, I hope your day gets better and everything works out. I am so sorry it has been a rough day. For some reason, it stopped me in my tracks. I smiled politely and quickly turned the corner before the tears rolled out. I had to pick my way carefully out of the store so as not to see anyone in the aisles as I cried. I cried for the rotten beginning to my day, for all that had happened. I cried in frustration at the healthcare system. And then I thought of this girl and her kindness to me. I don't know her name and I am sure she doesn't realize what this meant to me. I know I am being somewhat silly and emotional, but it unleashed the stress of the day, I guess. I sat in my car crying for a minute (until some scary looking dude was looking at me and I drove super fast outta there). On the way home, I finally cried tears of gratitude. I am so thankful that no one else got hurt today. I am thankful that Bart is okay. I am thankful for that mind numbing frustrating health insurance that we have. So many go without. I am thankful for family and friends who help us during these moments. I am thankful that Bart responds fairly well to the medicine as so many other epilepsy patients can't. I am thankful it isn't a brain tumor causing his seizures. I am thankful my kids have never seen one. I am thankful that I have been blessed with the ability to stay calm and think clearly when the emergency arises. I am thankful that I can advocate for myself. I am so thankful for the lesson I taught in Primary this week: When Jesus Christ comes again, we will be made whole. There will be no disease or illness. There will be no evil. We will all be friends with each other and (the lesson really said this next part which is hard for someone deathly afraid of animals to stomach) but it said, we will all be friends with the animals of the earth too. What a great reminder. When He comes again in all His glory, He will be mindful of Bart. My sweet, adoring, amazing husband that I love without a doubt, will be made whole again. I have known that all my life, but for some reason hadn't thought to click those pieces together until tonight. I am so thankful for that. I am thankful that I know that. I am thankful for a Savior who would come to this world to accomplish just that. It makes it a little easier tonight to stomach a rotten disease and to work a little harder to be more righteous and kind. To have faith in our amazing country and its leaders. I am so thankful and blessed. Isn't it amazing what a little kindness can do and lead to for someone else. I am thankful for that sweet girl who was 1/3 my age for taking the time to see me as a person, not a customer, and for being kind to me. I am so thankful for all that I have. My fighting gloves are off, I am full of humility. I am thankful that my Father in Heaven is mindful of each of us and that He gives me challenges that we can handle together. What a beautiful life. Sorry for the length and obvious range of hormones in my body tonight! I am thankful to my readers for letting me vent!
I completely forgot to post such a big first for Rachel. She spent all of last summer AT the pool, but not IN the pool. Thank goodness we'll be able to enjoy the water this summer. I wanted to see if she was a natural fish like our other 2 (thanks to their Dad's skills, not mine) and it turns out that sure enough, she likes the water. Nana took all of us swimming at this great indoor pool over Christmas break. It had fountains, slides, and a lazy river. I was the only adult willing to get in with the kiddos, so I ended up with all 3 of my kids hanging on me as we went round and round the river. Man, was I tired! In Colorado they do an adult swim for the last 15 min of every hour. At first it drove me nuts, but now I like it as you can leave easier with the kids, feed them, reapply sunscreen and just check on everyone. It also means you can get in with the little ones and their parents for a couple minutes of fun without big kids splashing you. I used this opportunity to get in with Rachel and see how she liked the water. Oh what fun. We'll be even more swimsuit ready in a few months! 
All Anna wanted was a doll with hair and Barbies.
I asked her to stop for a picture and look at the pose we got of her new robe!
Mom and her sweet kids. They make it all worth it, that's for sure.
